I pray you all are doing well and that you are being overtaken with the blessing of God!
I haven’t written in a while. I want to say that it is because I’ve been so busy, but the truth is that I didn’t know what to say. Between dealing with the fear of COVID-19, the challenges of life, and trying to grow a business, I somehow lost my words. Trying to celebrate the good things that were happening while managing the not-so-good things, all at the same time rendered me speechless.
How could a writer not write? Just the thought of not being able to express myself through written words brings tears to my eyes. In time, I began to understand that while trying to be everything to everybody and trying to fix problems for others and encourage others, I somehow was losing myself. I had to ask myself, who am I without my ability to write? I’ve been emptying all my fears, anger, uncertainty, confusion, pain, joy, hope, happiness, and love from pen to paper my entire life. For me not to be able to write put me in a fog. I went through my daily activities in a mist.
What I find to be so weird is that I never prayed and asked God about this. I never asked Him why I couldn’t write. I didn’t ask why He wasn’t inspiring me to write. I prayed for everybody else, but not once did I pray for myself. I just kept moving through the fog.
The book of Ecclesiastes speaks about seasons – a time for everything. I went through my season of drought maybe so that I can really appreciate the blessing of being able to write, the blessing of being a writer. As I penned these lines this morning, I realized that I have shifted into another season. I can write again! The fog has lifted, and I feel more like myself. I’m back to doing what I love. God is inspiring me, and my creativity has been rejuvenated. Stories are swimming in my head just waiting to be put onto paper, waiting to be brought to life.
I would ask God why I had to go through that season of not writing. I would ask Him, what happened? What was wrong with me? Where were you? But I dare not ask because I already have the answer. The truth is, while I was waiting on God to move, He was waiting on me to move! I forgot that whatever I touch, God blesses and because I wasn’t doing anything, neither was he. Sorry God!
Lesson learned. It won’t happen again. I’m back!